doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
