Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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