Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
