can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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