i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
