I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
