there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize