I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize