Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
