Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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