Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
