everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
