I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
