There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
