My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
