I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize