R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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