You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
