Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
