you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
