Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
