All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
