at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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