if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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