I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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