I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
