i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
my liver is dry heaving
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
