oh god the rape fog is back!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
