dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
