If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
They have beer where we have blood.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
