I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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