Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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