dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
