the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
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And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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