how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
