I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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