She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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