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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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