No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed