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I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Randomize
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