the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys