Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
