You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
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