I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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