if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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