Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's official drugs can't kill me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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