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Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
we should paint friendship bongs
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