Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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