I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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