I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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