Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
