Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
