Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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