so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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