I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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