He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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