Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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