The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
