he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
