I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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