your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
