; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
