you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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